You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
