ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
