It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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