her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
