Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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