I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
