handjob tips. give me some.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
