im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
