the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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