Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
