Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
