I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
