she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
