Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
