it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
thus making me awesome and them whores
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
