just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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