I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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