She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
