rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
is it fun? or sober?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
