i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
