At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
