Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
