i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
