it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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