I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
