We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
zippers are such a cool invention
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
