Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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