i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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