I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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