North Korea, Best Korea!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
