I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
