don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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