Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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