He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
my poor anus
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just forgot I was standing up.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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