I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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