so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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