I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
