We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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