I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
