college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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