Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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