I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize