We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
two words...techno handjob
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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