Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
