if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
