Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
