Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
