i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
