I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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