I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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