Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
