i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
