I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
