She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
