I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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